This isn’t the usual strike, as in three strikes you’re out, it’s the kind of strike you get across the knuckles from a nun with a yard stick. Man that hurts. The former implies following a set rule and giving up after three, while the latter ensures you’ll learn from your mistakes next time; as in next time you’ll snap the stick in half all fucking Matrix slo-mo style, impale it through her close minded skull, into a steam pipe, and ending in mess of a melted face. Somehow we ended up in the boiler room of a Catholic school but yeah.
Back to the topic at hand. Was my budget too small/big? Were my emails not worded professionally? Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Was my “art” or design seen as a fucking joke? A million questions can enter your mind and doubt begins to build every second you waste time on them. The one question that matters though is “Why did I start this?” It’s the only one with any weight. I don’t have the pedigree other developers do, nor do I have any background in programming, design, or production. I’d even go so far to say I definitely don’t have an ounce of the skills most developers do. Why on earth would I expect to get funding for a video game being developed by a guy who couldn’t even complete a game design program? The answer is I don’t. I can’t. The only thing I can do is answer the question of “why did I start this?” and carry on. There’s still plenty, and I mean plenty left to do but I’ve come a long way and I’m not about to stop now. Plus it was only a funding effort not a “stop you can’t do that” type thing.
So I failed at Indie Fund, for now, but I also just submitted to IndieCade, Pax Prime, and BitSummit (in Japan), with Fantastic Arcade, and SIX (Seattle Indies Expo) up next. Even if I fail at all of those I’ll know and accept exactly why. Deadlines keep me focused and on my toes.
In other news I finally got my E3 badge as a proper industry “professional.” Back in 2013 my buddy Ruben invited me under his wing of credentials and while it wasn’t the catalyst it was undeniably an enormous part of how I got to where I am today. This year I finally got accepted using my own. Ask An Enemy Studios will be at E3 2015. A personal goal, but again the question was “why did I start this?” For now it’s back to Playcasting and designing.
While I’m at it though the latest project funded by the folks at Indie Fund is undeniably well deserved. Relativity (http://relativitygame.com/) looks like it’s on its way to fucking some shit up, in a good way. Hell in a great fucking way.
Learn. Build. Fail. Learn.