This isn’t the usual strike, as in three strikes you’re out, it’s the kind of strike you get across the knuckles from a nun with a yard stick. Man that hurts. The former implies following a set rule and giving up after three, while the latter ensures you’ll learn from your mistakes next time; as in next time you’ll snap the stick in half all fucking Matrix slo-mo style, impale it through her close minded skull, into a steam pipe, and ending in mess of a melted face. Somehow we ended up in the boiler room of a Catholic school but yeah.

Back to the topic at hand. Was my budget too small/big? Were my emails not worded professionally? Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Was my “art” or design seen as a fucking joke? A million questions can enter your mind and doubt begins to build every second you waste time on them. The one question that matters though is “Why did I start this?” It’s the only one with any weight. I don’t have the pedigree other developers do, nor do I have any background in programming, design, or production. I’d even go so far to say I definitely don’t have an ounce of the skills most developers do. Why on earth would I expect to get funding for a video game being developed by a guy who couldn’t even complete a game design program? The answer is I don’t. I can’t. The only thing I can do is answer the question of “why did I start this?” and carry on. There’s still plenty, and I mean plenty left to do but I’ve come a long way and I’m not about to stop now. Plus it was only a funding effort not a “stop you can’t do that” type thing.

So I failed at Indie Fund, for now, but I also just submitted to IndieCade, Pax Prime, and BitSummit (in Japan), with Fantastic Arcade, and SIX (Seattle Indies Expo) up next. Even if I fail at all of those I’ll know and accept exactly why. Deadlines keep me focused and on my toes.

In other news I finally got my E3 badge as a proper industry “professional.” Back in 2013 my buddy Ruben invited me under his wing of credentials and while it wasn’t the catalyst it was undeniably an enormous part of how I got to where I am today. This year I finally got accepted using my own. Ask An Enemy Studios will be at E3 2015. A personal goal, but again the question was “why did I start this?” For now it’s back to Playcasting and designing.

While I’m at it though the latest project funded by the folks at Indie Fund is undeniably well deserved. Relativity ( looks like it’s on its way to fucking some shit up, in a good way. Hell in a great fucking way.

Learn. Build. Fail. Learn.