I received the following message from TAXI to my inbox this morning.  It's the usual industry listings I receive once every 3 months that I've failed to do anything about.  This one in particular stood out.  I've posted it in it's entirety so you get the full picture.

NEW LISTING -- Perform Your Song Live for Mega-Hit Songwriter and American Idol Judge, Kara DioGuardi at TAXI's Road Rally on November 8th, 2009 in Los Angeles! TAXI will choose TWO members from these submissions and each of them will perform their Original Songs live, on stage for Kara. She will do a live critique of the song, your vocal delivery and your overall performance. Not only is Kara a hit songwriter and an American Idol judge, she also owns her own highly successful music publishing company and is Vice President of A&R at Warner Bros. Records. To say that this is an INCREDIBLE OPPORTUNITY is obviously a huge understatement. The bar for this is going to be VERY high. We will ALSO randomly select a two or three more members to perform their songs live during this panel (time will dictate how many, no promises). In either case, you will need to be at the Road Rally, and in the ballroom during the panel to perform. We'll provide a drop box in advance of the panel. The submission fee for this listing is $10. Half of the overall submission money will be donated to Kara's favorite charity, Phoenix House. There will be NO submission fee for the drop box submissions - only for the listing, which gives you a shot at a guaranteed slot. This listing officially has no genre restrictions, but if you do Instrumentals, please don't submit for this. Pop, Singer/Songwriter, Rock, R&B, Country and Adult Contemporary come to mind as the best genres for this. Our screeners will not be focusing on age and appearance while they screen, and will be instructed to choose the TWO best songs, combined with great vocal performances. People chosen to perform (from this listing or the drop box) will need to bring a track with NO vocal on it to perform to. We won't be allowing guitar or keyboard accompaniment for this to keep things moving briskly on stage. There is no limit to how many songs you can submit for this listing. Please submit songs online or per CD, include lyrics. All submissions will be screened on a YES/NO BASIS ONLY - NO CRITIQUES FROM TAXI - and must be received no later than Monday, October 26, 2009. TAXI # Y091026KD

Dayaam.  Shit's about to get real yo!  Krazy Kara telling me my jams suck is right up there on my list of things to accomplish, right beneath "Give a crap".  According to her wikipedia entry "DioGuardi has worked with Ashley Tisdale, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Celine Dion, P!nk, Kelly Clarkson, Anna Vissi, Carrie Underwood, Demi Lovato, Hilary Duff and Paula Abdul.  Unless the bitch wrote Genie in a Bottle or Straight Up I could careless about any of those ho's aside from seeing them all in Maxim, except for Smelly Clarkson.  Fat belongs on the grill bitch, not my ladies.  

Seriously tho I'd love to know how badly she'd tear into me for the shit I write.  The TAXI Road Rally is only about two weeks away and sadly I won't be attending because I'd rather buy 3 fucking copies of Modern Warfare 2 than pursue a career in the same field as New Found Boring, Shits of Leon, and Diarrhea Charlotte only to get Kanye'd at the VMA's for not holding up to their caliber.  Yeah I'm bitter, and cynical.

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