Originally appeared in LJ on December, 12th 2008
So last night was interesting. I've had plenty of dreams like this and there's more to it than the dream itself. There's this complex structure that blankets all of them. However to keep this first post about this particular subject matter concise, I'll only explain the dream and not the complexities that surround it.
I had a dream that I was at a park somewhere in town, though not visually representative of El Paso, it still had a sense of place, it still felt like home. I was accompanied by someone and although I can't pinpoint who specifically the individual was, that's not important, it's mere presence however was. I felt at ease. I felt relaxed. I felt accomplished. Thanks to whomever this being was made to resemble, I felt welcomed. We continued walking and came to a foothill when I overheard someone say, "Hold on I think that's Jaycee, remember, Airplanes Are Better?" I look up and across the street from us was a crowd of people sitting on some bleachers in a small open area sectioned off by a small two foot high wall that encircled the area. The person whom I overheard was none other than Jim Ward of Sleeper Car, At The Drive-In, Sparta.
He calls me over and I comply eagerly. Keep in mind, in the real world, I can't even so much as look this guy in the foot. I spent much of my time admiring him for his and ATDI's accomplishments that when the time came in which I had the opportunity to shake the guys hand and say "thanks for the inspiration" I couldn't even mutter a sound. It sounds gay I'm sure but it's kind of like when you have a crush on a girl and you can easily speak to any girl who's not her, or even her friends like the ho's they are, yet the minute she walks in the room you freeze up like cow getting slaughtered. I tend to put people on these pedestals that they either don't deserve or in Jim's case, don't necessarily belong on. That's not a bad thing. I'm simply saying this because if I can just get over that, I may one day get some resolution to a slight qualm I have with him about something I may be making out to be something bigger than it really is or it could be that he has a wikipedia entry and I don't and somehow that determines social ranking.
So back to the dream. It goes without saying that in the dream our conversations go on as they typically should. We continue talking about touring and music and I take that since I discount Sleeper Car in real life, my mind does so in the dreamworld as well since there was no mention of the band and I only think about this now as I am writing this out. This is where it begins to get strange. Have you ever had those dreams where you begin to take control of everything and you know it's a dream? Well, usually you start running shit ass fast and attempt to fly, or you pull a gun out from thin air and just start blasting people because you know no ones really gonna get hurt, but those back to back months of playing COD4 and exploring the wasteland of Fallout 3 have just built up, so you go crazy. What do I do? I attempt to find away to ask a question that will finally resolve the aforementioned qualm I have, somehow thinking that real life will be altered if I somehow get an answer here. My realworld memories carry over into my dream and I remember Jim constantly playing GTA in Sparta's tourbus, so I use it to my advantage and ask him if he's had a chance to pick up a PS3 yet. Genius I know. He says something along the lines of "You know what man not yet, but remember that 720p TV I bought at Circuit Central awhile ago", ignoring the fact that his reply was all sorts of wrong simply to be included in this guys decision to purchase one, I say "Yeah man, what's up with that?" Genius again, I know, but settle down people I'm telling a story. He tells me he's having problems setting it up to take full advantage of it and after a bit of back and forth dialect on settings and such I scream with joy at the chance to offer to help him myself, to which he responds by saying "fuck yeah that would be awesome." I'm not sure if that was me controlling his voice to say that but seeing as it's all in MY head, I wouldn't be surprised. So we set up a *gasp* date and he heads off to tell Christine, his wife the good news.
Suddenly we are now in his kitchen and I'm hanging with his friend Silas, who is sitting at the dinner table while I take a pizza out of the oven. Christine, she may spell that differently I'm not sure, but for the sake of this post and in honor of Stephen King's Christine we'll keep it as is, looks alot like Bjork. No one else tends to agree with me but she does, I don't care what any of you say. So I see a not-so-Bjork-looking Christine, more of an Indian-looking yet not-quite-red-dot-between-the-brow-looking Christine walking down the hall. She comes up to us and says "Eric died on his way to Village Inn." I wake up and BAM! That's it. God damn it! Not only did I not resolve my first situation, now I gotta figure out who this Eric guy is.